Oil/Volcano Drush

I'm taking a very liberal artistic license here for a drush on these pesukim. I was actually nice to the President here to make it fit. It assumes he will be nice back, which is a big assumption, so just how accurate this drush will be remains to be seen.

Devarim 33:24-29:

וּלְאָשֵׁר אָמַר, בָּרוּךְ מִבָּנִים אָשֵׁר; יְהִי רְצוּי אֶחָיו, וְטֹבֵל בַּשֶּׁמֶן רַגְלוֹ

And to Barack Hussein Obama, whose gematria of ברק חוסיין אובאמה equals that of Asher, 501, he said: Blessed from all the other non-Jewish nations is your nation, Barack Hussein Obama. It shall be the most favored of all its non-Jewish brethren. However, his foot-shaped state, Louisiana, will dip in oil from a devastating oil spill.

בַּרְזֶל וּנְחֹשֶׁת, מִנְעָלֶךָ; וּכְיָמֶיךָ, דָּבְאֶךָ

You will be trapped not by olive oil, but rather crude oil, the type of oil which contains iron and copper

The hydrocarbons in crude oil are mostly alkanes, cycloalkanes and various aromatic hydrocarbons while the other organic compounds contain nitrogen, oxygen and sulfur, and trace amounts of metals such as iron, nickel, copper and vanadium.

However, like the days of your youth, Barack Hussein Obama, America will still be strong (for the purpose of which we will note later).

אֵין כָּאֵל, יְשֻׁרוּן: רֹכֵב שָׁמַיִם בְּעֶזְרֶךָ, וּבְגַאֲוָתוֹ שְׁחָקִים

There is none like G-d, Oh Yeshurun, Oh Israel. He made the ash-cloud, which is riding the heavens to help you - not hurt you, and it proudly rides the skies...

מְעֹנָה אֱלֹהֵי קֶדֶם, וּמִתַּחַת זְרֹעֹת עוֹלָם; וַיְגָרֶשׁ מִפָּנֶיךָ אוֹיֵב, וַיֹּאמֶר הַשְׁמֵד

...which is the abode of the G-d Who has been there since eternity. And underneath are airplanes, which are considered the "arms" of the world as they carry people from one place to another. The ash-cloud exiled all the airplanes from before You - meaning Your abode, Hashem, which is the heavens - that belong to the enemy, meaning the anti-semitic Europe. And he, the EU countries, were confused and asked (with the ה השאלה), "Will it destroy airplanes that fly through it?"

וַיִּשְׁכֹּן יִשְׂרָאֵל בֶּטַח בָּדָד עֵין יַעֲקֹב, אֶל-אֶרֶץ דָּגָן וְתִירוֹשׁ; אַף-שָׁמָיו, יַעַרְפוּ טָל

But, as for Israel, it alone will dwell securely with the fountain of Ya'akov, which spews goodness to the land, such as grain and wine. Even the heavens drip with dew only upon Israel - no volcanic ash on their cars along with the dew.

אַשְׁרֶיךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל מִי כָמוֹךָ, עַם נוֹשַׁע בַּיהוָה, מָגֵן עֶזְרֶךָ, וַאֲשֶׁר-חֶרֶב גַּאֲוָתֶךָ; וְיִכָּחֲשׁוּ אֹיְבֶיךָ לָךְ, וְאַתָּה עַל-בָּמוֹתֵימוֹ תִדְרֹךְ

You are fortunate, Oh Israel, who is like you? A nation saved by Hashem, the Shield Who helped you. And as for Barack Hussein Obama, his sword will be your pride by fighting your wars for you so your enemies will dwindle away before you, and you will tread upon their high places.