Top 10 Reasons Why I Will Not Attend the President's 50th Birthday Party
Top 10 Reasons Why I Will Not Attend the President's 50th Birthday Party:
10) The President is economically way too socialist-like for my tastes in America.
9) The President is socially way too liberal for my tastes.
8) The President wants to limit Israel's borders.
7) The President STILL has not commuted Jonathan Pollard's sentence. (Jonathan needs a speedy Refuah Sheleima.)
6) The President is arrogant.
5) I don't listen to music during the three weeks or do "fun" things during this time.
4) I don't listen to women singing, which will occur at the party.
3) The food is not Kosher.
2) I have no interest in contributing to his 2012 campaign.
1) Too much Torah to learn...
That said, I wish the President a happy 50th birthday! May you have many more years to come (as a community organizer)!